Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
