But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
