Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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