He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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