Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
