So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
