i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
