i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
