i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize