please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
