hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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