i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
