Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You have to summon your inner elephant
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
