I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Too much gin, very little bucket
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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