Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
