I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
apparently the secret to your success is patron
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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