Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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