I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
