I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Houston, we have a squirter
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
