remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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