would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
nutella sex= disaster
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
