I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
