yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
