white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
