i would punch a child for taco bell
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
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