Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
