Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
