I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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