it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
