Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
