everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
