White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
