I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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