Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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