so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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