so explain again why im purple
no
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I supernannyed him into submission
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
