Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
