I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize