My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
