I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
