Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize