i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
