I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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