Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
