Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize