He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
