Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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