It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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