i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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