Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Randomize
