Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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