Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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