You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Two words: blizzard sex
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
