I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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