ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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