So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
not ubering you a puppy
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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