The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
this just has baby written all over it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize