Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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