so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
