We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
