he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
