My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
