covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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