You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
