So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
