Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Pants are for mortals
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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