Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
