How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize