Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
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