i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize